512. Dan & Cheryl Fenton share their personal testimonies March 19, 2024

[00:00:00] Welcome to Wisdom Today. My name is Bill Kelley and I'll be your host. In this podcast

[00:00:12] we will be exploring the book of Proverbs.

[00:00:22] Father God, I thank you for anyone listening to this podcast today. Lord, I pray that you would

[00:00:28] reveal to everyone listening today how much you truly love each and every one of them.

[00:00:34] I ask this in Jesus name, amen. This is Proverbs 19 beginning in verse 1. Better is the poor who walks

[00:00:45] in his integrity than one who is perverse in his lips and is a fool. Also it is not good for a soul

[00:00:54] to be without knowledge, and he sins who hastens with his feet. The foolishness of a man twists his

[00:01:03] way and his heart frets against the Lord. Wealth makes many friends but the poor is separated from

[00:01:11] his friend. A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who speaks lies will not escape. Many

[00:01:21] entreat the favor of the nobility and every man is a friend to one who gives gifts. All the

[00:01:28] brothers of the poor hate him. How much more do his friends go far from him? He may pursue them with

[00:01:37] words yet they abandon him. He who gets wisdom loves his own soul. He who keeps understanding will

[00:01:47] find good. A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who speaks lies shall perish. Luxury is not

[00:01:57] fitting for a fool much less for a servant to rule over princes. The discretion of a man makes

[00:02:05] him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression. The king's wrath is like the

[00:02:13] roaring of a lion, but his favor is like dew on the grass. A foolish son is the ruin of his

[00:02:22] father, and the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping. Houses and riches are an

[00:02:31] inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. Laziness casts one into a deep sleep,

[00:02:40] and an idle person will suffer hunger. He who keeps the commandment keeps his soul, but he who is

[00:02:50] careless of his ways will die. He who has pity on the poor lends to the Lord, and he will pay back

[00:02:59] what he has given. Chase in your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his

[00:03:07] destruction. A man of great wrath will suffer punishment, for if you rescue him, you will have to do

[00:03:16] it again. Listen to counsel and receive instruction that you may be wise in your latter days. There are

[00:03:25] many plans in a man's heart. Nevertheless, the Lord's counsel that will stand. What is desired in a

[00:03:34] man is kindness, and a poor man is better than a liar. The fear of the Lord leads to life,

[00:03:43] and he who has it will abide in satisfaction. He will not be visited with evil. A lazy man

[00:03:52] bearies his hand in the bowl, and will not so much as bring it to his mouth again. Strike a scoffer,

[00:04:01] and the simple will become wary. Rebuke one who has understanding, and he will discern knowledge. He

[00:04:10] who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach.

[00:04:19] Seize listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge. A

[00:04:27] disreputable witness, scorns justice, and the mouth of the wicked devours iniquity. Judgments are

[00:04:37] prepared for scoffers and beatings for the backs of fools. Friends, I have a special treat for you

[00:04:45] today. I have Dan and Cheryl Fenton, and they are both fellow second-year carous Bible college

[00:04:52] students. And guys, I would like to thank you for coming on. I really appreciate you taking the time.

[00:04:59] Well, appreciate you, have this. It's a blessing to be here. All right, Cheryl. We just got done

[00:05:06] finishing Proverbs 19, and I understand that you have a verse that you'd like to share.

[00:05:12] I'd like to share Proverbs 1914 in the Passion translation. You can inherit houses and land from your

[00:05:21] parents, but a good wife only comes as a gracious gift from God. It makes me kind of strange that

[00:05:31] we would have both chosen this verse given that it's talking about a good wife, but I would just

[00:05:36] say that in general our marriage foundation that we see each other as spouses as a gift. So to me,

[00:05:47] this applies just as much to my husband as it does to me. That's good. Dan, is everything you'd

[00:05:54] like to add? Proverbs also talks about, and Proverbs 18.22, that he who finds a wife finds a good

[00:06:01] thing and favor from the Lord. Well, I have to admit, I found a very good thing. And God's favor has

[00:06:09] followed since we made a covenant relationship. That is so good. And I like the new living translation

[00:06:15] in Proverbs 18.22, and it says he who finds a wife finds a treasure. I just love that because

[00:06:23] and I will second that, Cheryl is a treasure. And you guys really did good. Dan, I'd like to start

[00:06:31] with you. If you would, the audience may not know exactly who you are. Just please share a little

[00:06:37] bit about your upbringing and just tell us your fondest memories growing up. Well, I grew up in a

[00:06:44] very religious Christian family with a lot of limitations. He was only a couple TV shows. I was

[00:06:50] allowed to watch it in a given time. And at the age of seven, I had a wonderful Sunday school teacher

[00:06:56] and I spoke to Senator's Prayer when I was seven. But I guess at that young age,

[00:07:03] I understood Christianity as more religion and doing works and that you had to be good, which

[00:07:10] then led to a little bit of rebellion going into junior high and doing different things that

[00:07:15] I was ashamed of. But I'm very, very grateful for a great youth pastor who led me back to the Lord

[00:07:24] and was an example for me. And I really believe it at the age of 16 when I was in my sophomore year

[00:07:32] in high school that I was called in the full-time ministry. And I was back in 1985, so few years

[00:07:37] ago. And I went off to Bible college, but again still was very much in a legalistic religious mindset

[00:07:47] that read an hour of scripture a day. Doesn't matter if you understand it or really are looking

[00:07:54] at anything as long as you've read it, you've done it. You're meeting your accomplishment as a Christian

[00:08:00] and it was just, it was still very legalistic. I went to a Bible college that I almost left after

[00:08:06] two years feeling, knowing the Lord last after two years that I felt after before going. So

[00:08:15] again, being because it was just religion, it was easy to kind of turn against that and kind

[00:08:20] of rebel against that. And I met my late wife 1993 and I married 94. We had four beautiful

[00:08:30] children, but after many years we had a situation with cancer and we prayed and we believed we

[00:08:41] had healing for several years. But the cancer did come back and we didn't know how to not focus on

[00:08:53] the pain, the different things. Instead of focusing on scripture, focusing on the Word of God,

[00:08:58] we looked at the pains and the hurts and the different parts of it and focused on that and spoke more

[00:09:08] to the cancer than speaking the Word of God. Wow, that's good. Dan, we'll get back to that later.

[00:09:15] Cheryl, if you would tell us a little bit about your upbringing.

[00:09:19] You know, it's funny. I was an only child and I would say I had a very wonderful set of parents

[00:09:31] and what some would see as a privileged life. But in terms of knowing the Lord, I grew up Catholic

[00:09:41] and for a lot of reasons when I went off to college in 1986. And I had done all the things.

[00:09:53] I had done first Holy Communion and confirmation and CCD and all the things, but I did not know the Lord.

[00:10:01] I didn't know there was such thing as a relationship with the Lord. My view of God was that he demanded

[00:10:09] perfection and that he was a Punisher and that if I didn't do everything right, I was going to

[00:10:18] to have bad consequences. And so when I went off to college, I wouldn't say that I wouldn't say

[00:10:25] I rebelled or walked away from the Lord purposely but I just stopped going to church because it

[00:10:33] didn't have a meaning for me. And so I started just doing what I thought I should do and I started

[00:10:42] chasing the world. I went into corporate America. I had a tremendous amount of success.

[00:10:50] I married a gentleman that I was married to for 22 years. We were together 25 years

[00:10:59] and from the outside looking in, we would have looked like the perfect family successful. I had a

[00:11:05] successful career, successful husband to beautiful children but there was just I was never

[00:11:14] ever happy or satisfied. There was you know vulnerable I'll share that I used to have these

[00:11:21] conversations with my husband about there needs to be more and he would say you're just never happy.

[00:11:28] You're never going to be happy because nothing's good enough for you. I give you everything

[00:11:33] and I didn't know that there was a God shaped hole in my heart. And so I came to the Lord later.

[00:11:42] It was a very powerful experience on an airplane where a gentleman sitting next to me urged

[00:11:49] me to consider God. That was at age 38 so over 15 years ago and I started seeking the Lord

[00:11:59] and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to get the children who were three and five at the time

[00:12:05] into a church. So we went to the place with the best youth group which was a Presbyterian church

[00:12:11] and I ended up in more religion and even though I was seeking the Lord and he was so good

[00:12:17] to grow our relationship and teach me to hear his voice but I was still very bound in religion.

[00:12:27] So it's really been the last five or six years where I've had the blessing of really getting

[00:12:33] to know who my father really is. Well that's so good and you know I'm going to make reference

[00:12:40] to what you spoke about your husband because I often speak about this on my podcast as

[00:12:46] Proverbs 1821 and the importance of your words and death and life are in the power of your words

[00:12:55] and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. And it sounds like when your husband was critical

[00:13:03] of you that he basically ended up eating those words. It separated you, it built up a wall between

[00:13:11] you and friends I cannot over I cannot tell you how important your words are. And I like in

[00:13:20] Proverbs it says even a fool appears wise when he holds his tongue and I often say if you can't

[00:13:28] say anything nice just keep your mouth closed and you'll seem wise your thoughts on that damn.

[00:13:39] Well yes it's so easy to just say words that could hurt one another.

[00:13:47] My you know my wife and I my late wife and I were married for 25 years before she passed

[00:13:52] cancer and I really wish I knew what I know now about her words. Again I tried not to speak

[00:14:00] negative words, I tried not to get into arguments but at the same time I also didn't speak

[00:14:07] the love I didn't speak the word of God the way I wish I had over her circumstances.

[00:14:13] And because of those words sometimes it was easier to avoid a fight and just be quiet and not

[00:14:21] say anything which yes there's wisdom in that but at the same time there has to be communication

[00:14:28] and one of the things that Cheryl and I have made a commitment to is just say it

[00:14:33] and that if there's thoughts or hurts or one of us says something or does something that the other

[00:14:39] person that could be an issue we make sure we speak up and try to bring that to the forefront

[00:14:46] immediately so that we're not going to bed with anger. We're not caring offenses because

[00:14:52] offenses will destroy and kill and I'm just so thankful again for the gifts that God's led me to

[00:15:02] because I had 25 years to learn and I guess sometimes I'm stubborn enough that I have to learn

[00:15:10] the hard way and Cheryl and I have chosen to take what we've learned from our previous marriages

[00:15:18] to be able to move forward and chase after the covenant relationship that God calls us to

[00:15:24] and the power in that where one can chase a thousand but two can put ten thousand to flight

[00:15:31] and how powerful does it come into covenant. Cheryl would you like to add to that?

[00:15:37] You know I think one of the things that I'd really like to to say here is that

[00:15:46] Dan Dan's choice to learn from his previous experience has been an incredibly

[00:15:56] powerful leadership in our marriage and in our home because a lot of the choices that he has

[00:16:06] made and that he did make early on in our marriage and even in our courting displayed a love

[00:16:15] that I was not familiar with. It was it was a love that I could tell came from the father.

[00:16:25] It showed me a new way to to view the father and to receive love and

[00:16:34] his self-control and his grace for me just touched me so frequently and I tell people this

[00:16:44] and I've told him this but we we've never had a fight or even an argument but

[00:16:52] there have been times where I know that I'm frustrating him and I can see

[00:17:01] in his face and in his eyes that I'm frustrating him but he consciously chooses and it's

[00:17:08] funny it's our little joke because it's the way he says it when he's really frustrated he'll just

[00:17:14] hope he'll just say I love you and he makes that conscious choice to show love and grace

[00:17:24] and every time he does it reminds me of the father's love and him leaning on the father

[00:17:32] to love me the way the father would and it has called me higher because I want a self-sacrifice

[00:17:41] and I want to make that choice you know there are there is scripture around where envy and strife

[00:17:47] is is confusion and every evil thing there is there's there's there's scripture around our prayers

[00:17:54] being hindered but we're not in unity and so I feel like he started he taught me experientially

[00:18:04] how to do this but the Holy Spirit has taken it and turned it the volume up to say Cheryl I am calling

[00:18:13] you higher in this relationship every little choice and every thought matters and because he's so

[00:18:21] loving and blesses me so much when he makes those choices I want to make those choices for him

[00:18:27] as well for him to show him love and to be pleasing to the father okay well that's so good

[00:18:35] and and I want to bring one of my favorite scriptures when it comes to marriage this is Solomon

[00:18:41] in Ecclesiastes and he wrote the book of Ecclesiastes when he was an older man and that's chapter 4

[00:18:49] beginning in verse nine and it says two people are better off than one for they can help each other

[00:18:57] succeed if one person falls the other can reach out and help but someone who falls alone is in real

[00:19:05] trouble I really like this translation likewise two people lying close together can keep each other

[00:19:12] warm but how can one be warm alone a person standing alone can be attacked and defeated but two

[00:19:21] can stand back to back and conquer three are even better for a triple braided cord is not easily broken

[00:19:31] and what that signifies to me guys is that God has to be the head and so God is the head I look at it

[00:19:39] as a triangle God is the head and you two guys are on the bottom looking up to God and that's really

[00:19:48] Jesus in this thing he proves it says looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our fate

[00:19:56] we're to constantly keep our eyes on Jesus day and I wanted to ask you a question I want to go back

[00:20:04] to what Cheryl made reference to and I often think that we love our parents we love our children

[00:20:12] but the wife is a different tale altogether you have to throw that word cherish in and cherish

[00:20:20] to me is much much deeper than the word love explain what that word cherish means to you Dan

[00:20:28] and how do you cherish Cheryl in your relationship that's a pretty pretty big undertaking but

[00:20:36] Cheryl I found loving her has been easy when I focus on making sure that on meeting what she needs

[00:20:46] and when I focus on taking care of her and focus on what I see as her needs now I'm sometimes

[00:20:54] miss the ball I'm not perfect in that but if I'm trying to chase after what I think is best for her

[00:21:02] it makes it makes every love that loving relationship so much easier because and also like you're

[00:21:08] mentioning with a triangle you know so many times I've heard people say with the Lord's on top

[00:21:14] and the closer we get to the Lord the closer we come together but it also the more I focus on coming

[00:21:21] close to her and also directs me back to the father the father called us to love he told us to love

[00:21:30] one another and he also shows the importance of the marriage relationship in scripture and so there's

[00:21:38] a purpose and the more I love her the more I feel the love of the father the more I feel the love

[00:21:43] of the father the easier it is for me to love her so it's it's not just one or the other but they

[00:21:49] work together and I believe that's truly why you know God put Eve with Adam because he knew

[00:21:56] that it was an opportunity for a stronger relationship when the two come together unfortunately

[00:22:03] know what happened in the garden the but we are thankful that God's still even in our sin

[00:22:11] focus on the importance through our scripture from the beginning all at the end of how important

[00:22:17] the marriage covenant is and how serious God makes it well that's so good and I'm going to go to

[00:22:25] May the instruction manual for marriages is found in Paul's letter to the Ephesians chapter 5

[00:22:32] and this is where Cheryl I'm going to speak to you first this is where he tells wives

[00:22:38] and he gives them the instruction that you are to submit yourself to your husband it's only three

[00:22:44] verses but what does that those three verses mean to you Cheryl and how have you submitted

[00:22:50] to the authority of day on in your marriage I'm more than happy to speak to this I think

[00:22:57] I think it all goes back to trust and I think that's why the marriage covenant is such a beautiful

[00:23:04] picture of Christ in the church because I have in my in my previous marriage I was not

[00:23:13] submissive in fact I was I was very much trying to rule the rule and reign the home more

[00:23:24] more frequently but you know I think as I look back that was kind of more in self protection

[00:23:32] and in in our marriage from the beginning I have said it is it's easy very very easy to submit to your

[00:23:45] husband when you trust him and when you know he loves you and he has your best interests at heart

[00:23:53] and so I actually find submission to his leadership not only easy but kind of a comforting

[00:24:01] peaceful place because I don't have to be in control and I don't have to figure it out on my own

[00:24:08] and I can look to him as the head of the house because I absolutely trust that he would never

[00:24:14] never do anything to hurt me well that's so good and you know the thing about Ephesians chapter 5

[00:24:21] Cheryl is there are three verses for the wife but there are 10 verses for the husband

[00:24:29] so Dan let's let's step you up just a bit here because you are to love Cheryl as Jesus loved

[00:24:37] the church and Jesus sacrificially gave himself for the church he was willing to die do whatever

[00:24:46] he needed to do in order to get that reconciliation back where mankind would once again be in good

[00:24:54] relationship with God the Dan what are your thoughts about loving Cheryl as Jesus loved the church

[00:25:03] well from the start when you even when we just started courting I prayed all the time I said

[00:25:09] Lord show me how to lover the way that you love her and it was a commitment that I had to make

[00:25:18] knowing that the way that Christ loves the church has to be the way we love each other

[00:25:28] and if we if we didn't love that way the relationship wasn't going to last

[00:25:35] and it probably wouldn't even got to the point where we were engaged so my prayers constantly

[00:25:44] in the situation was that Lord helped me to love her as you love me and it then made it easy to

[00:25:53] consider how Christ loves the church because God through Cheryl put flesh to to the point purpose

[00:26:03] of love and the covenant of love and it's just been easy trusting the Lord to take those steps

[00:26:10] because I can't do it on my own I don't have the wisdom I don't have the strength to love as

[00:26:18] Christ loves the church but through trusting him and again looking to meet her needs

[00:26:26] and taking care of her and I'm certain that's you know the way you know Christ did so much for us

[00:26:34] you know we just got through Easter weekend and when we look at the purpose of the cross

[00:26:42] and how much Jesus did for us on the cross it's just a powerful powerful showing of love

[00:26:51] and if we can love each other just with a fraction of what Jesus how Jesus loves us

[00:26:58] and any relationship is going to be lasting and lifelong good that's so wonderfully said

[00:27:05] Cheryl would you like to just add a few things to what Dan said?

[00:27:08] You know I when we were recording I just had a memory when we were recording I was I was having a lot

[00:27:16] trouble trusting because I had been hurt and and I was taking it to the father and I was I was

[00:27:24] journaling a lot and I was having a hard time having hope for this kind of union and this kind

[00:27:34] of relationship because I'd never I don't believe I've ever in my life had a picture of this

[00:27:41] and so one one warning I really sensed the Lord saying to me match his inner vision

[00:27:49] and so I texted him he was in Ohio and I was in Colorado and I texted him and said the Lord

[00:27:55] says match your inner vision what is your inner vision and he replied and said ask him

[00:28:02] and so the Lord began to unfold something longer I won't I won't share the whole thing but

[00:28:09] something longer I wrote in my journal that I then shared with him and he confirmed

[00:28:13] but basically that inner vision was this picture of of a relationship that gets better

[00:28:22] and stronger every day that were truly partners that were in ministry together that were

[00:28:28] impacting people together that our love doesn't fade and grow stale but it just keeps getting

[00:28:34] better and stronger and it was something that honestly I'd never even considered was possible

[00:28:44] and and at the Lord emphasized a couple of times that he doesn't just hope for it he believes

[00:28:54] and I had to come to the place where I believed in that as well.

[00:28:59] Wow that's so good um day on I'm going to go back to you because most of the instructions

[00:29:05] in the Bible kind of tend to lead toward leadership and guys and the first three verses in Ephesians 6

[00:29:13] are verses for children to obey but verse 4 I've always liked this it said fathers do not

[00:29:22] provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them rather bring them up with the discipline

[00:29:29] and instruction that comes from the Lord day and not what you know you guys are you know a blended

[00:29:36] couple you guys have six kids together but how did you handle that verse with Cheryl's two kids

[00:29:44] when you guys got together wow I love I made a commitment that um I was choosing to love

[00:29:52] Cheryl and it you know some people say well we've got you know baggage our children are not baggage

[00:30:00] and um I've heard I never ever ever ever want to treat her children as baggage that came along with

[00:30:08] her. I promised her from the beginning that I wasn't going to tell her how to parent her children

[00:30:15] and she's you know agreed with me that we're going to work together it's a partnership.

[00:30:21] Cheryl is there anything that you would like to add about what Damjus said?

[00:30:27] Yeah I would say that um we have we we take this very seriously and we've discussed that

[00:30:35] at this stage we have children ranging from age 18 to age 28 so we are in agreement that we are

[00:30:44] in coaching years and um not necessarily in in specific instructive and disciplinary years

[00:30:54] unless they come seeking counsel and so we've really really purposed to not try to be our children's

[00:31:03] saviors nor their best friends um in that we love them but that we're willing to to tell them the

[00:31:13] truth and to to love them and support them in every way we can and I think I think we've been very

[00:31:21] blessed that that our approach and our hearts are in unity on this and we don't have a situation where

[00:31:30] one of us wants to be a punisher and the other doesn't we're really we're really of like

[00:31:38] minds in in the way we parent in general and so at this stage of with those ages I think it's just

[00:31:48] a matter of of seeking the Lord and giving the most wise counsel that we can based on our

[00:31:55] collective I'm gonna switch gears here Cheryl I remember when you took off and got married that

[00:32:04] weekend about a year ago remember you said you were going to and you're talking about getting

[00:32:08] married you're all excited if you would um just share how you guys met and what how how how

[00:32:15] did you get together we have a very long detailed testimony that I won't I won't uh share here

[00:32:23] for purposes of time but I will just suffice it to say that um that we were introduced by

[00:32:32] an unlikely uh person who was was in both of our lives we were introduced from over a thousand

[00:32:41] miles away we had no reason we would ever meet or prop pass and yet uh yet we did we were

[00:32:50] introduced and from the first day that we started exchanging messages we just we never stopped we

[00:32:58] just purpose to get to know each other uh even virtually from the very first day Dan what are

[00:33:07] what are your comments about that I am extremely thankful for the opportunity we had um again the

[00:33:15] person who who did introduce us um it was a miracle and again we were a thousand miles apart

[00:33:24] there would be no chance whatsoever that I would known Cheryl um within a few days we were going

[00:33:31] from just a few messages to suddenly doing face time and at one point we probably had as many

[00:33:39] as 300 texts the day going back and forth because there was several times that we'd say or

[00:33:44] somebody would say something to the other and we would try to go back through the text messages

[00:33:48] to find what was said and it would take forever to scroll back through the text messages because

[00:33:53] there was so many messages that went back and forth but we made it a commitment that we were

[00:33:58] going to communicate um on a daily basis and again it was multiple methods we were using face

[00:34:05] face time we were using text messages we would uh phone calls we'd have a phone call in the morning

[00:34:11] several text messages first thing in the morning and then we'd always face time towards the end of

[00:34:16] the night um we were very intentional about a relationship and um I really felt within about 10 days

[00:34:25] that I probably could have asked her to marry me after 10 days but we I do I knew there was wisdom

[00:34:31] and not going there and we just we again we we made it very intentional we made it very

[00:34:37] purposeful um we sought the Lord we prayed we started praying together um that was one of the things

[00:34:44] that uh that I think brought our relationship uh it's very strongly together is that we we put

[00:34:51] our trust in the Lord and we didn't know exactly how it was going to work out um again she she

[00:34:58] introduced me to carous um Bible college uh probably within a month of of us communicating

[00:35:06] I told her that uh welcome the newest carous student and I said I'll all be in Colorado next year

[00:35:13] with you or without you uh either we'll be sitting together or sitting apart

[00:35:18] to which I said I hope that you are following the Lord and not the girl

[00:35:23] I I promised her that I was following the Lord and I again I knew from growing up that I knew

[00:35:30] I had a call to ministry and I often say that uh the embers of the thoughts of being in ministry

[00:35:38] hit um I thought those embers had gone out I thought the fire had gone out and uh I often said that

[00:35:45] once I met Cheryl it was almost like she threw gasoline on on those embers that I thought were gone

[00:35:53] and the board renewed my call to ministry and so immediately um we then had that we had a

[00:36:00] purpose went ministry uh the chase after and again it was just a daily intentional um

[00:36:08] relationship that we we made a commitment again I think there was only one day where we didn't do

[00:36:15] a face time uh for the time we we started until we were married and we were a thousand miles apart

[00:36:22] so again the chances of that are one in a million uh probably even considerably higher than that

[00:36:30] and it's just God it was God that's why when we say our scripture was a wife is a gift

[00:36:38] a gift from the Lord Cheryl was a gift and I want to be the gift back to her every single day

[00:36:46] well that's so good and and let's go back to first year Cheryl um first year is when you basically

[00:36:53] gain foundation in the Bible and many people come to care us without really being aware of the

[00:37:01] Bible that much you know some of them don't know the Bible that well they haven't read it before

[00:37:06] and one of the requirements of first year Cheryl is that you have to read the Bible in its entirety

[00:37:11] and I've heard a number of people say that's the first time they had ever done that so

[00:37:15] anyway how did carus first year change the way you look at things and how important was coming to

[00:37:24] carus for you um well it was very very important um i uh when i heard Andrew speak before uh probably

[00:37:35] the year before i came to carus i heard Andrew speaking about the only textbook being the Bible

[00:37:43] and my heart just lit up and I knew he was calling me here my son was in his senior year of high school

[00:37:51] and he's my youngest um and so as time went on i continued to pray about it and uh people would

[00:37:59] ask me and and trust me my background is in corporate finance i'm known to be a planner orderly

[00:38:06] i was an executive and so people would ask me what are you trying to do going across the country

[00:38:13] to carus well are there a certain degree is there what are you trying to accomplish

[00:38:17] and I literally which was so out of character i would say um i believe that the lords called me

[00:38:24] i don't know what he has for me but i know when he calls you somewhere he has something good and

[00:38:30] i'm not going to spend the rest of my life wondering what i missed out on and i'm so glad i did because

[00:38:37] not only did i come here in faith alone not knowing a single person um not only did he bring

[00:38:45] me a husband which i did not expect um but he unwrapped so many things we just got back from our

[00:38:54] mission trip to Costa Rica and the lord gave me a message to share that i called five things i wish

[00:39:01] somebody would have told me when i was chasing god and living completely defeated and so

[00:39:08] through that that year of carus and through the relationship with dan and us being able to

[00:39:14] pray together read the word together uh share our revelations he has completely unfolded

[00:39:23] who he is who i am the personal relationship with him the righteousness by a gift the power of

[00:39:31] the holy spirit he has just unfolded things that i have desperately needed um not just to walk out my

[00:39:40] calling and assignment but but my primary calling as a daughter and a good witness for the lord

[00:39:47] and my um and my priority as a as a virtuous wife and um at the best being the best mother i can be

[00:39:57] well that's so good and i'm going to go to the book of proverb it says a steps of a righteous man

[00:40:02] are ordered by the lord dan what does that verse mean to you

[00:40:06] i think it goes back to proverbs 35 and 6 we must trust the lord with all your heart

[00:40:14] lean not on your own understanding and all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path

[00:40:20] when we trust him when we truly trust him now we're sitting in chairs here right here at the table

[00:40:26] and we trusted these chairs when we sat down when we go on we get in our car we trust the car is

[00:40:33] going to get us from point a to point b but so many times we so many people unfortunately question

[00:40:40] god does god really want me blessed does god really want me well and when we start trusting the

[00:40:47] lord the same way we we we trust these silly chairs that we're sitting on is when we're going

[00:40:52] to start seeing miracles take place throughout the church and so i just my steps we we pray every

[00:41:01] morning lord leetus leetus to people uh leetus than to what we need to learn and give us the words

[00:41:09] when we're talking to people um that's going to touch people uh leetus to pray for people when it's

[00:41:15] when we need to pray for people and we've come to the conclusion that ministries not always convene

[00:41:21] it but when you trust the lord he's gonna lead you to people that you need to minister to even though

[00:41:27] it might seem like the most unlikely situation possible god leads us when we trust him

[00:41:35] so it's a daily it's a daily commitment it's a daily commitment with the chiroline make is lord

[00:41:41] you know if you're you're leading still left if you're leading us to right you know um prior to a

[00:41:45] couple weeks ago we were praying lord if it's first to be here for third year or if it's first

[00:41:50] to go out of the ministry we will follow the direction you give us and we're going to be open

[00:41:57] to continue laying our lives down before the lord saying lord you have to lead us you have to

[00:42:02] lead us to the people you have to lead us to the place you have to lead us uh to the words that we

[00:42:07] need to speak and the prayers we need to pray um over different situations different people because

[00:42:13] when we trust him the same as these chairs we're gonna find that god works in amazing ways that

[00:42:20] lead ministries that we don't understand we wish we understood it but if we continue following him

[00:42:25] and trusting him he always makes a way always makes a way wow that's so good and i'm gonna go to

[00:42:32] to john's uh the third letter that john wrote it's one of the five books in the bible that only

[00:42:40] have one chapter but verse two says i wish above all things that you prosper and be in good health

[00:42:50] even as your soul prospers so for anyone listening to this podcast today if you have any question

[00:43:00] about the desires of god for your life that's it right there he wants you to prosper

[00:43:08] he wants you to be in good health even as your soul prospers now your soul is your mind will

[00:43:16] and emotions he wants your emotional state to be well as well that is god's plan god wants us to live

[00:43:25] an abundant life he doesn't want just just sitting there just scraping by that is never god's desire

[00:43:33] guys you just got done with your mission trip you just mentioned that if you would give us a few

[00:43:39] highlights of your mission trip to coaster rica well i will i'll say it was it was an incredible

[00:43:49] blessing to be able to minister to the people the lord put in in front of us of course that was

[00:43:55] a privilege and honor we got to speak in churches we did an entire day of what our our pastor leader

[00:44:03] in coaster rica called free hugs and we were just we were just loving them on people um and it was

[00:44:10] amazing but i will say probably the two biggest things which are a surprise that came out of our

[00:44:17] mission trip is that uh it impacted us as much and more than it impacted even the people that

[00:44:28] we ministered to even though we purposed to give of ourselves um one of those things was the unity

[00:44:35] amongst the mission team uh i had been collecting i in in my journal i'd sort of been and collecting not

[00:44:43] at first not intentionally but i started writing down things like kelsi is what freedom looks like

[00:44:51] and even is what peace looks like in erica's what joy looks like and somehow over the course of

[00:44:57] the trip i ended up having a different facet of god's nature across the twenty some people on our trip

[00:45:06] and it was it was just so inspiring and it was just such a picture of the lord and the parts

[00:45:13] of the body coming together uh i'd say the second thing that was the most impactful for me is that

[00:45:19] it changed me um i feel like the lord i was having a very difficult time with the conditions

[00:45:28] and the lack of sleep and exhaustion and in the travels and things like that and um i just

[00:45:36] felt like the lord did a complete heart circumcision in me uh that left me so much better on the other

[00:45:45] side of that mission trip yeah but i'm just going to say one thing uh dan before i ask you and

[00:45:51] to elaborate on that in ax chapter 20 verse 35 to me one of the most powerful verses in the bible

[00:45:59] it says it is more blessed to give than to receive so out of that one verse if you would

[00:46:07] how did that verse speak to you as you were ministering in Costa Rica?

[00:46:13] well i we were so blessed with a missionary family um that was so powerful um he i think we came back

[00:46:24] learning so much from him that when you give of yourself um even when we were talking about the

[00:46:30] first day before we went out and gave the pre hugs he was talking you can hug people all day long

[00:46:36] if you're not showing them love it doesn't matter it's meaningless and so giving away love,

[00:46:44] sharing love truly having a compassion that when you've got a young person uh or or you know we had

[00:46:51] people of all ages that we were hugging and speaking over and when you have a young person coming

[00:46:57] up to you uh we don't know what they're going through but when you have a purpose in your heart to

[00:47:03] love that individual regardless of the situation and you give that hug knowing in your heart

[00:47:11] that i care about this person it just is so powerful and i'd like to add that um the way the way

[00:47:19] the pastor put it was um it's about people not programs so to take Dan's example and expand it

[00:47:27] into a bigger picture you know so often in the western church we want to have all these programs

[00:47:33] and all these things and what he reminded us and what we walked out over the course of that

[00:47:38] mischievous was if you do not have love it profits you mean nothing. Our words can our words can

[00:47:45] we can say words all the time and one of the things he he focuses a lot on discipleship and discipleship

[00:47:53] is being an example letting your life giving of yourself and letting your life so shine before

[00:48:01] Christ that it doesn't matter what you say people are going to sense the love of Christ

[00:48:07] in your actions and your smile and the way you approach them and i think that was one of the

[00:48:13] greatest things we took away from this is that we can say all day long we could we could preach to

[00:48:18] people we can speak to people but if you're not showing love and you're not being an example

[00:48:25] of the life of Christ it doesn't matter what comes out of your mouth until we show them

[00:48:32] Jesus when we show them Jesus and we show the love of Christ that's when we're going to have an

[00:48:37] impact that that's when they're going to listen to the words we say so until we put that love in

[00:48:43] our heart we have to start with ourselves i have to commit that when i walk up to this individual

[00:48:50] i care about them and i'm going to show it in my eyes i'm going to show it in my actions

[00:48:57] and then hopefully they'll hear it in my words well that's so good and and i'm going to make

[00:49:03] reference to what you guys both said and this is Paul's letter to the Corinthian church and this

[00:49:09] is known as the great love chapter but i really want to go over verses one through three because

[00:49:14] what you guys talked about then i'm just going to back it up with scripture it says if i could speak

[00:49:20] all the languages of earth and of angels but didn't love others i would only be a noisy gong or a

[00:49:28] clanging symbol if i had the gift of prophecy and if i understood all of god's secret plants

[00:49:35] and possessed all knowledge and if i had such faith that i could move mountains but didn't love

[00:49:41] others i would be nothing if i gave everything i have to the poor and even sacrifice my body i could

[00:49:49] boast about it but if i didn't love others i would have gained nothing what you guys said was just

[00:49:56] perfect representation of that i really like backing things up with scripture because i just think

[00:50:02] it brings a lot of things together the guys were coming to a close here what i'd really like to do

[00:50:08] we only have five weeks left of second year i basically would like each of you to chair just a moment

[00:50:15] about what god is speaking to you individually and as a couple for what's coming next in your life

[00:50:22] well again we've we came into this year um again trying to reason we were trying to reason

[00:50:29] what god was calling this too and when we we started really focusing on

[00:50:35] what the lord was leading us to and stirring up the dreams and desires that he placed in our heart

[00:50:40] and some of those dreams and desires have been in our heart for several years but when we started

[00:50:45] trusting him um we we really believe that and even in these last six to eight weeks that the lord

[00:50:53] has really directed us to launch out um head back to the southeast we are about 95 percent positive

[00:51:00] on a property that we're looking at and we really believe that the lord has brought us to to speak

[00:51:07] to people about spiritual and body the church is warned so many people are worn out and again

[00:51:15] the love of Jesus needs to come out of our hearts to give to present rest there's so much of a

[00:51:22] purpose of rest and nutrition and not so much on the fitness side but we do want to have a little

[00:51:29] bit of fitness involved with the ministry we perform but we want to to just bless the church

[00:51:37] starting with our family starting with our family we we've but lord called us first our first

[00:51:41] ministry is back to our family and then to others and we believe that um we've got friends

[00:51:47] and ministry leaders that we want to bring in and build a minister back to them

[00:51:54] yeah I will I'll actually take just one step back to put a little bit of color around what Dan

[00:51:59] saying to say that um I have been massively blessed because I had a small wellness ministry

[00:52:08] and I believe the lord had given me a vision for for a wellness retreat ministry

[00:52:15] back in January of 2017 and I was putting together the pieces of that and offering them just out of

[00:52:23] my house in Jacksonville but when I got called to carous I I laid that all on the altar and to be

[00:52:30] really honest I thought oh well maybe I missed it but the lord was so gracious to raise

[00:52:38] that vision back up through Dan and in his his long time love for endurance as an endurance athlete

[00:52:48] and we just share a lot of the same interests in the same heart for taking care of the temple

[00:52:55] but we also recognize that the as far as spirit soul and body it's a little bit about the body

[00:53:03] and a lot about the soul and spirit so uh so we're we're really excited about what's coming next

[00:53:11] and uh we want to buy this property and then um like Dan said start with our our family have

[00:53:17] enough space for all of them and uh and just let the lord unfold its step by step by step or not

[00:53:24] going to try to make something happen where we have we are completely in unity on following his steps

[00:53:32] his way is timing well that's so good and I really really appreciate you guys and you know

[00:53:40] what I really like is looking at your facebook page and all of these pictures that you constantly

[00:53:45] are bombarding as with and you know it's just it's just precious and and you know I can't overemphasize

[00:53:53] this when you guys work together as a couple even just watching what you post on facebook

[00:53:59] it is a ministry in itself because it speaks of unity and there's something just powerful

[00:54:06] about that synergy of two people working together share a few wood give any one an opportunity

[00:54:12] that has never received Jesus please usher them into the kingdom just say a prayer for us please

[00:54:19] um wow I didn't know I did not know the great beauty of uh of of surrendering my life to

[00:54:37] Jesus Christ my lord and savior beyond just going to heaven and he has so much of our full

[00:54:45] you not just in eternity but the word says uh here and now here and now not not just in heaven

[00:54:56] and so many benefits and um such a beauty and honor and privilege to walk with him and so if you

[00:55:04] have not received Jesus Christ as your lord and savior I'd just like to give you the opportunity

[00:55:11] right now right now to to pray with me and to come to the Lord humbly and to say um Jesus

[00:55:23] I've made mistakes but I thank you that um that you you you live the perfect similes life

[00:55:33] and you you died and you were buried and you rose again in fulfillment of the scriptures

[00:55:40] so that I can be forgiven lord I just acknowledge that I can't do it on my own

[00:55:47] and I'm so thankful that I don't have to and so I just come to you right now I believe in my heart

[00:55:55] that you are who you say you are and I confess with my mouth that I surrender my life to you as my

[00:56:02] lord and savior and I just thank you for this opportunity I receive you I yield to you

[00:56:11] and I can't wait to walk this out with you in Jesus name.

[00:56:17] Cheryl that was beautiful thank you so much and I really appreciate you guys coming on

[00:56:23] and friends if there's anyone listening today and you repeated that prayer that Cheryl invited

[00:56:28] you to I ask that you reach out to me on my Facebook page Bill Kelly KELLEY and if you have any

[00:56:36] specific questions about anything you heard on today's podcast reach out to me on messenger

[00:56:44] now may the Lord bless you and keep you the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you

[00:56:51] the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace friends please join me again tomorrow

[00:56:59] as we further explore wisdom today